My First Month at Site

As I begin to settle into day-to-day life, regular blog posts seem to be difficult to produce.  I simply don’t know what to share.  I try to remind myself that while things are becoming normal for me, there are interested parties at home who want updates.  I never felt that life was interesting enough to keep a blog before, so I’m falling back into that perspective.  The newness eventually wears away from everything and we’re left with our usual self.

I feel very welcomed into the school and my host family.  As I said before, I have returned to my training site so I’ve had a head-start on getting to know people.  

I’m constantly laughing in the staffroom; my colleagues are a hoot.  But also, they love to talk about current world issues and a never-ending variety of intriguing topics.  I am grateful to see the world through an altered lens and I think they like to hear how things compare in the United States.  We are able to speak about subjects like racism in our respective countries with an equal willingness to understand and learn.  It turns out materialism, discrimination, and a passion for bettering our world exists wherever you go.

Oh and yes, they all speak English.  All classes, with the exception of Oshindonga, are taught in English so teachers have to be able to speak it, naturally.  The staffroom is a mixture of the two languages.  People here tend to switch to the language in which they can better express themselves.  That means a sentence will switch back and forth a couple times before the statement has ended.  This can be hilarious for me overhearing a discussion on what to do if an elephant herd is crossing the street right in front of you. “…words, words, words…will it hit my car?...words, words,”  (There is a great fear of elephants here.  They trample homes, cars, and people.  Nothing like the family fun circus elephant I’m used to).

This brings me to how I am doing with learning Oshiwambo.  It is a challenge, to say the least.  My host sister, Olyvia, has been my tutor for the past 3 weeks and I can see myself starting to pick up words here and there in the surrounding conversations.  I believe I’m currently lacking in confidence to attempt to speak it with people; something I need to do if I ever want to get better.  I’m not sure how to give myself that boost of energy.  On the one hand I’m saying “You’re being too hard on yourself.  Learning a language is difficult and Rome wasn’t built in a day.”  On the other I’m saying “You aren’t pushing yourself like you should be.  You’ll never learn unless you get out there and try.”  I think both voices are right in their own way.  I just need to find that perfect in-between balance and I haven’t yet.  Namibia is on the top of the list for Peace Corps countries where volunteers fail to learn the language.  This is because most people speak some level of English.  Besides English, there is no unifying language.  Every region speaks something unique and quite difficult for me to learn.

I am staying on a homestead with a host family so I can’t fully fall into my “hide away from the world in my bedroom” routine.  Believe me, there are days where I want to do just that.  Stress and anxiety come in waves making me moody and oh, so fun to be around.  Those of you familiar with this side of me know I like to be alone to cope with that.  I still very much need my alone time but living with a family ensures that it doesn’t become my way of life.  Additionally, I live with them but actually have my own house.  I can go write or listen to music, then emerge to help cut vegetables for dinner.  Baby steps.  

Yesterday was one of my struggle evenings but I sat under the stars for a while with Jane, my 3-year-old niece, on my lap and the frustration melted away.  That little one has become my shadow, along with my puppy.  Sitting in the yard usually consists of her wiggling around on top of me trying to stay out of range of puppy teeth while I try to lean over to hold the puppy’s mouth shut so she’ll stop biting my legs for 2 seconds.  I’m starting to get a slight response from her when I say “no” but that dog wants EVERYTHING in her mouth.  I watched her struggle to reach an upper branch of a tree for 5 minutes yesterday which she so clearly was craving to chew on.  She eventually settled for the trunk.  Her chew toy I brought home has gone missing again. She prefers my leg anyways.  

My family has been trying to convince me to go to the hospital for rabies injections.  Yes, the scratches are that bad.  I did, however, get vaccinated as a part of my requirements to be here.  Also, if an animal is infected, it will die within 10 days.  It takes a month for humans to start showing symptoms so I would have plenty of time to get to the hospital if this were the case.  I was trained on this stuff and refuse to get a series of painful shots for no reason.

Living on a homestead is my favorite part of being here so far.  I love the simplicity of daily life, having time to watch the sunset and stargaze, playing with the animals, and being away from all the noise of a city.  Sitting with nature has always been my remedy to a tough day so no matter what, I have what I need to recharge.

I’ll do everything I can to get more pictures up but the internet is a serious challenge.  Loading one picture could take me all day.  I still have 2 years, though.  Odds are they’ll get up here eventually. 

Until next time.

Swearing-in as a Peace Corps Volunteer

The swearing-in ceremony took place a week after site announcements.  All of our supervisors traveled to Okahandja in order to learn more about the volunteer’s role and to escort us back to our sites.

The ceremony honestly meant more to me than either my high school or university graduations.  I felt pride for my fellow volunteers and also for myself.  I was humbled by the work put in to preparing for it, as the venue was stunning.

My host mother, Belinda, took off work to attend which I am so grateful for.  She even arranged for me to borrow a traditional Oshiwambo dress from a neighbor.

Peace Corps gave us an opportunity to show the room what we had learned during our 10 weeks of training.  My language group and I had learned a song from the grade 10 learners at Nengushe so we taught it to the other volunteers to perform.

The looks on the faces of the supervisors and host families when we burst out in an Oshiwambo song: priceless.  It was certainly a crowd pleaser.  I can’t remember the last time I felt confident leading a song in a performance, so this was a fun moment for me.

The next morning I hopped on a bus with the other volunteers and supervisors traveling to the Oshana Region and, 8 sweaty hours later, arrived at my new home.

I’ve been here for 2 days now and it’s kind of surreal.  I realized I’ve moved homes at least yearly since the age of 15.  I move to Africa to settle in for 2 years…funny how that worked out.

I am living on a homestead with a family but in my own modern house.  I have electricity and indoor plumbing, although the water is scarce here and is often turned off during the day.  The Namibian government has provided me with a fridge, stove/oven, and some furniture.  I have more than I ever anticipated and still get the peace of living in a small village.

I can see the school from our yard so it might take me 5 minutes to walk there.  My previous host family lives maybe 1 km away so I can visit them regularly.  Maggie, my nearest PCV, is about 10 km away so we can meet up for shopping in Ondangwa on the weekends.

I’ve already become friends with my new host sister, Olyvia.  She is 17 and a learner at Nengushe.  I love having another girl around.  We’ve also become workout buddies so I plan on coming back to the States with a ripped body…only half joking.

I’m looking forward to start working with the school tomorrow and really just to get into a routine.  My nerves have been out of whack from all the changes and unknowns.  Finally, I have a small sense of stability, even with the language barrier and lack of my American safety bubble of fellow volunteers.

It seems like I have plenty of people in the community to support me so I’m never really alone, just adjusting slowly to a new life.

Site Announcement

Community-based training lasted a month and then we all returned to Okahandja for the last bits of training and the site announcements. 

The time spent together was more of a family reunion for all of us.  We went to a beautiful resort to swim in a pool and our social committee organized “Peace Corps Prom,” a dinner party to celebrate our last week as trainees.

Group 42 is my family here and my strongest support system as I move forward in my service.  I had a wonderful time with them and wish them the best on their assignments.

Site Announcement Day

We had our language exam in the morning to monitor how we’d been progressing.  I scored a Novice High which indicates I need some extra help.  I’ve since identified my host sister as a tutor and she will work with me for an hour each day until the end of November.

Learning a new language has been one of my biggest frustrations since arrival.  I hope to keep that in mind as my students struggle with English.

In the afternoon of the same day, the trainers blindfolded us and walked us to various locations on a giant map of Namibia (made out of string in the yard of the community center).  They handed us folders containing our assignments.  When everyone was in their spots, we took off our blindfolds to reveal where we were standing and what the folders read.

It was especially exciting for those of us in the North because we were so close we were touching.  Before I knew where I was, I knew one of my favorite people, Maggie, was my neighbor.

The folder I was holding read: Nengushe Junior Secondary School in Okaku, Oshana.  If you’ve been following my blog, you will know that this is the same location where I spent the last month of my community-based training.

I feel so fortunate to return to this lovely school where the students and teachers already know my name. Part of the integration process has already been started for me.

They want me to teach grade 8 English and to start an ICT program (computer lab).  Apparently, the school has been waiting for a class set of laptops for about a year and we don’t know when they will arrive.  I will do what I can with what we have though.  I might get an opportunity to work in the Kindergarten as well.  More on that later. 

My service is beginning to take shape as I prepare to leave the training program.  It's far more exciting to see what I will be doing with my community.

Community-Based Training

The community based training portion of our pre-service training is more along the lines of what you would expect when I say “I’m in Africa with the Peace Corps.”  I say this lightly though, considering I cannot draw comparisons with anything I have before experienced.

To sum it up: I live on a farm in a small village called Okaku and am beginning to teach lessons at Nengushe Junior Secondary School.

Becoming a Teacher

There are less than 400 learners at Nengushe Junior Secondary School (Grades 8, 9, and 10) and approximately 20 staff members.  The students’ ages seem to range from 12-18. They have all been kind and welcoming to us which is greatly appreciated while we are easing in to a new culture.

I am here with 4 other Peace Corps Trainees and 2 trainers, although one just left us to pursue a new career and we all wish her the very best. 

As I stated previously, we are learning Oshindonga.  I am currently at a novice-mid level which basically means I can point at things to identify them and say short sentences and phrases.  It’s a slow process but every now and then I can understand what someone asks me and it gives me a boost of encouragement.

We’ve been co-teaching and observing classes for the past two weeks.  This week begins independent lesson planning and heading the class.  I’m focusing on English but look forward to a Physical Science or maybe a Life Skills lesson as well.

Schools here teach in the mother tongue in the earlier grades and then it switches to English as the official language for all classes.  Imagine suddenly having to take all classes in whatever language you took as an elective in high school.  Reasonably, many students are completely lost and fail simply because of the language barrier.

I’ve been told by my counterparts that I am hard to understand.  I have a bit of an accent and I speak to quickly.  I’ve really been working on annunciation but it will most likely take a while for me to establish a pace that the students can follow.  They won’t tell me when they don’t understand either…

Regardless, I’m starting to feel confident in my abilities and think I’m going to enjoy being an English teacher.

Culture

I believe I’m cut out for the country life.  I see the sunrise and sunset every day which usually consists of a neon pink/orange mirage over the sand.  The stars are (dare I say it?) out of this world.  You can look up into the sky and see the spiral arm of the Milky Way.  It entrances me every night.  I don’t believe I’ve seen a single cloud since I’ve come to the North.

On my homestead we have cows, goats, chickens, cats, and dogs which all seem to roam freely.  The goats are everywhere!  It’s a common occurrence for a few to wander on to campus during the day and we get a kick out of it every time. 

While I love being out here, I’m pretty ignorant in terms of farm life.  If any of you remember the reality show “The Simple Life” with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie…they move out on a farm so that America can laugh at their bourgeoisie lifestyle when it comes to chores and the outdoors…that’s essentially me.  I don’t know how to clean an animal.  I’ve never hand-washed my clothes.  I’ve NEVER eaten this much meat.  I’m a spectacle for the whole family.

I feel gratitude for the opportunity to experience a new perspective but it has also been the most difficult part of training thus far.  Not because I can’t do any of it but because I am watched with a magnifying glass in everything I do.  Also because they don't want to teach me how to do it, they just want to do it all for me.

It took about a week for them to start letting me help with any cleaning or cooking.  They didn’t believe I knew how to do much of anything and that’s true for a good bit of it.  My sister even asked if I knew how to toast bread…with a toaster.

When I’m having a particularly stressful day, I perceive the attention to be from a place of mock rather than curiosity.  What I mean is, they laugh at me A LOT.  And I don’t always love being the circus clown, especially when I can’t understand what they are saying about me.

Our Namibian trainers have been conducting discussions on difficulties we’ve been facing assimilating into our new homes.  This is extremely beneficial since, often times, we misinterpret the reasoning behind why our hosts act the way they do.

It is in Namibian culture to be a good host to visitors.  People share what they have and give only the best to anyone who has come into their home.  Visitors are not supposed to work and it would be rude not to accommodate them.  This helps explain why they did not want to let me cook or do the dishes.

It’s also important to keep in mind: Namibia has only had its independence from South Africa for 25 years.  Before that, people were used to a great divide in races moving along side with Apartheid.  Even today, there isn’t a lot mixing between the races and cultural groups.  Many of the people in my area have never seen a white person. 

The older generations are used to being treated as lower class citizens since the German colonization of Southern Africa.  Usually, the black Africans worked as servants for the wealthy and, commonly, cruel whites.  Look in to Namibian history and you will read about the mass genocide of the Herero people by the Germans in the early 20^th century.  Sometimes, people mistake us for Germans and we aren’t received all that well, but that’s not so much the case in the northern part of the country.  Here, people only seem shocked at my presence and interest in their culture.

Just last week I went to visit my “host grandmother” who lives on a very traditional homestead.  The previous week she had not wanted me to come to her home because she wasn’t prepared for an oshilumbu (the Oshiwambo word for white person) to visit.  She held my hand throughout the meeting and thanked me profusely for visiting, telling me that I have a good heart to have taken pity on her.  I tried to explain that ”pity” wasn’t the right word for why I was there but she didn’t speak any English and there really wasn’t any use.  It was the first time she had an oshilumbu in her home and it clearly meant something to her.  She gave me a live chicken as a token of good will, $100 to split with my younger brothers (I spent my portion on them anyways), and a puppy.  Yes, I am now a mother to a darling little girl who I’ve named Ombili, which means “peace.” 

Anyways, they may or may not be used to white people but they certainly have never seen one hand wash her own clothes.  Americans have machines or servants that do it all for them.  It’s not necessarily that they are laughing AT me.  They are laughing at the situation.  I can understand that.  

From my perspective, I’m not anything special.  I’m here to be a teacher; a common profession in their society.  All this attention can be overwhelming and often seems ridiculous to me.  I’m used to my space and trying to blend in with the crowd.  That will never happen for me here.

It makes sense that teachers are coming in with the Peace Corps.  I’m not only a teacher, I’m an ambassador.  This is one of the main goals of the Peace Corps: better understanding of new cultures from both sides.  I have taken on the role of representing all Americans; I might even go so far as to say I am representing all white people since that’s so rare to see out here.

This is not an easy role.  I’m constantly challenging stereotypes thrown at me and sometimes I feel like all I can do is apologize for the vast differences in wealth throughout the world, even though I have no control over it. 

I have heard that the Peace Corps makes you feel guilty about your life.  Very true, indeed.

As much as I want to live at the same level as the villagers surrounding me, I’m still getting a steady income and have a bunch of electronics brought over from the States.  People know this about me and so there’s almost this expectation that I’m going to share it all.  While I have enough to share, I can’t support everyone.  If I open that can of worms, I’ll surely drown in it.  But it doesn’t make it any easier to tell people “no.”

Don’t misunderstand; I’m not feeling pity for anyone.  I see a lot of positives in their way of life and find myself envious at times.  I’m feeling the call to change my attitude.  I’m perfectly happy with what I have here and can begin to see materialism float out my open window.

At the end of the day, the things that make me smile are positive relationships, be that with humans or farm animals, nature in all of her beauty, and the opportunity to share knowledge where it is appreciated.  The rest of it (new clothes, a hot shower, etc…) has a minimal effect on my day-to-day mood. 

Strange how some of us have to live through unhappiness "with" in order to find "peace" without.  

  

Pre-Service Training

As I suspected, access to internet is hard to come by.  This means my blog will not be highly active.  I will do my best to post at least once a month.

Today marks exactly two weeks that I have been in Okahandja, Namibia for pre-service training.  It feels like it’s been a very long time and yet, I’ve only barely scraped the surface of what I’ll be doing here and what it will be like.

I am a member of Group 42.  All 53 of us are here for the Secondary & Upper Primary Education Project (aka. we are English teachers for students from around the ages of 12 to 18). 

This group has quickly become my family away from home.  Each person has something incredible to offer and I feel blessed to be able to share this journey with them. 

After interviewing with some of the program coordinators to discuss personalities and interests, they assigned us to our sites which are spread all across this country.  We will not find out what our specific assignment is until we swear in on October 15^th. 

We did, however, find out which language we will be learning.  Group 42 is split into six languages: Afrikaans, Khoekhoegowab, Oshindonga, Oshikwanyama, Otjiherero, and Rukwangali.  (I can now “roughly” greet you in each of these).

I have been assigned to Oshindonga with 4 other volunteers.  They say it’s one of the easier ones for us to learn so I’ll hang on to that hope.  I’m excited and nervous at the same time.

This assignment greatly narrows down where I will be located.  O-land, here I come!

Oshindonga, along with Oshikwanyama and Otjiherero, is a dialect of Oshiwambo, the most widely-spoken language in Namibia.  It is found mostly in the northern part of the country, or what I’ve come to know as the “North North.”

In two weeks we will be leaving Okahandja for our community-based training which will last a month.  I have been told that my language group will be approximately 15 km from Ondangwa in the Oshana region. 

This training will take us out of the town setting and bring us to the villages.  We can anticipate no electricity or running water as well as full immersion into the languages. 

In addition to language assignments, we moved in with our host families this week.  I am staying with a woman who has been very kind to me.  She’s not much older than I am and we seem to have a lot in common.  She has a cat too, who is absolutely precious. 

We’ve been spending our evenings cooking together and watching Zee World, an Indian soap channel.  I’m getting sucked into the plots…and all their fancy costumes.

She does not speak Oshindonga so we’re pretty much an English-only household.  Her mother tongue is Khoekhoegowab (commonly known to Americans as the “click” language).  I’m going to try to learn some of it but I can’t seem to replicate the sounds she’s creating.

Everyone here seems to speak 3+ languages fluently.  A trainer joked that if you run into someone who only speaks one language, they’re American.

Feelings

They say that everyone goes through a little bit of culture shock at some point or another.  I know leaving a town where everyone seems to speak English will be that moment for me.  But I’m not there yet.

I’ve seen baboons, giraffes, antelopes, ostriches, warthogs, and a variety of other things I wouldn’t even begin to know how to name.

We climbed to the top of a nearby mountain/ hill through thorns the size of your palm and jagged rocks.  From the top you could see the whole world, almost. 

Just yesterday we tried dried caterpillars/worms at an open market...which I promptly drowned out with a lick or 8 of ice cream.  But it didn’t make me gag, so that’s a big step. 

I’ve begun to learn about Namibia’s history and struggle for independence.  She is captivating in her strength and pride.  The cultural diversity is so vast you can’t accurately describe it through one lens.  Keep that in mind as I share my experiences.

I’ve been feeling peaceful contentment towards daily life, wonder at all of the new things I’m seeing and learning, and gratitude for this opportunity. 

I have a lot to learn but I’m taking it one day at a time.

The community center where we were training.

The view from a mountain on the outskirts of Okahandja.

Preparation

I am approximately two and a half weeks out from my Staging date (August 7th, 2015).  I thought it would be a good idea to get this blog up and running so it will be easier to add to later.

So, why have I decided to spend the next 27 months in Namibia?

I suppose you can say I'm looking for peace out of the deal; inner and outer.  I am no stranger to volunteering, but the immense joy that accompanies it?  Now that is something I had either never fully felt or never fully understood.

Then, one bright Autumn day, there was a community garden.  It was shriveled and grey; the soil interlaced with shards of glass.  We brought it back to life and it did the same for me, if only temporarily.

I found relief in letting go and taking the attention off myself.  To spend just a bit of time with the earth and some good-hearted people can be healing beyond measure.

An ideal life would be waking up every morning with an opportunity to feel that way.  27 months is not so much a commitment to me as it is a blessing and a privilege.  From my perspective, I have nothing to lose and a country filled with knowledge and wisdom to gain.

Yes, this journey comes with some fear.  It's a long time to be on my own away from home.  But can any worthwhile adventure come without risk?

If you would like to send mail:

Flat mail and US Postal Service packages can be sent to me through the Peace Corps Namibia P.O. Box:

Kimberly Bailey
c/o Peace Corps Namibia
P.O. Box 6862
Windhoek
Namibia 9000

If you would like to send something through an expedited service, FedEx or DHL, then you need to send it to the street address of the Peace Corps office in Namibia. You cannot send regular mail to this address:

Kimberly Bailey
c/o Peace Corps Namibia
19 Nachtigal Street
Ausspannplatz
Windhoek
Namibia

The next post will come from my new home.  Talk to you then!